Introducing a new Tattler feature:
Asshat of the Month:
Laurence "Buzz" Cardoza, Asshat
The Tattler presents the biggest asshat in the city for a given month. It is reserved for people, through their public transgressions and foibles, for whom the epithet putz or schmuck just doesn't quite describe.
With a nickname like Buzz, the Tattler could fairly be accused of merely stating the obvious by gracing Mr Cardoza with the envious premier edition of the Asshat of the Month feature, but we couldn't think of a better guy to lead the Tattler's new monthly public service announcement.
Buzz is an appointed Emeryville government official; he sits on the Planning Commission and the Housing Committee, both organizations rich in asshat tradition but even there, Buzz really shines.
As vice chairman of Emeryville's Housing Committee, Buzz recently took control of the reins after the chair called in sick. Buzz wasted no time in showing his colleagues how a real asshat runs an Emeryville city committee; citizens would hereby be verboten from making comments on agenda items under his rule he announced. Buzz even outdid committee colleague and council member Nora Davis with his dictatorial edict; she had to reluctantly tell Buzz that unfortunately the law does allow citizens to comment at public meetings..."But only for two minutes!" she exclaimed in a nod to the audaciously anti-democratic Cardozian bravado.
Later, at a Nora Davis re-election campaign function, a candidate for council whom he supports, Buzz publicly trashed men who might be nurturing fathers, contemptuously calling them "house husbands"; a re-branding of the term, now becoming pejorative in Buzz Cardoza's world.
To any Emeryville fathers out there; make sure you keep the kids in mom's care (slaving barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen one would presume), least you be judged by your government officials as unmanly or worse still, a house husband.